How I Prepared To Meditate In Childbirth
Posted by Goddess Leonie on September 10th, 2011. Filed under: Mama Goddess.
Hola gorgeous Goddesses!
The number one question I get asked from pregnant mamas is how they can prepare for childbirth.
I thought it might be useful to find my diary notes from when I was pregnant about what I did – and compare them to the notes after birth!
Sound like fun?
YAY!
Let’s go!
What I worried about when I was 20 weeks pregnant
This weekend, my love and I went to a full two-day Calmbirth workshop. As soon as I became pregnant, I started researching which courses I wanted to do to prepare.
For me, I see birth as being a Great Initiation, and a vision quest for my soul… so I am surrounding myself with the right and sacred teachers, wisdom and support to help me on that journey.
I knew I wanted to learn something like hypnobirthing – which is basically using meditation techniques to centre yourself during birth.
The Calmbirth workshop is bringing up so many pieces of medicine and healing for me to look at.
One of the things we looked at during workshop was how our partners could provide the support and space we needed to give birth… and we all talked about (amongst much giggling like teenagers) what we needed in order for sex to happen, as the needs were transferrable. So all the lovely partners were volunteering how they seduce their women, using romance and scene-setting like massaging, intimacy, candles, aromas and food. The whole gorgeous point of all of this was that the same techniques can be applied by partners during childbirth to help their wives stay relaxed, calm, and in an intimate space.
And when they got to my sweet, shy man to ask him his seduction techniques, he giggled, turned red and said “uhhhh… I ask? We’re both Scorpios, we don’t need much more than that!” And I howled with laughter, because it was true.
And then I got to think about it… I wondered what it was that I needed in order to be intimate… seeing that I would need that same quality when it came to birthing… whether it be a dark place, a feeling of safety or a feeling of connection with my body.
And I realised the thing I need the most during intimacy is total emotional connection. My love and I have been in love for over eight years now… we share the same star sign, the same ocean-sky eyes and the same spiritual beliefs. I like to say that we appear different on the outsides (he is more introverted, I’m more extroverted), but on the inside, we are the same. He’s my twin in so many ways – as well as being someone who constantly amazes me, teaches me, grounds me, and is my beautiful smooth river stone to rest against. We can look into each other’s eyes and have complete conversations without saying anything. (I do want to say that we by no means have a “perfect relationship” – but we definitely work on it, and we totally adore each other.)
So I see that what I need most of all during intimacy, and birthing, is knowing that he is on the same page as me, looking in my eyes and present and connected with me. I do want to say though – when I say “emotionally connected” – I don’t mean for him to feel my emotions with me. I don’t ever believe that’s a helpful thing, and we believe it’s totally important for both of us to stay in our own energy and own our own emotions. Instead, I just want him to be there, present in his own emotions and body, with clear lines of emotional and soul connection with me.
How CalmBirth helped my love during birth
Chris was definitely that gentle river stone for me during birth. He gave away his own emotions for the time I was in labour so he could be where I needed him to be. He listened in to me {even when I didn’t speak}. I didn’t feel he left the room – even though he did take breaks. He was present, grounded, and there. He turned up with all of himself.
It was a great gift. I’m so glad we had done CalmBirth together twice so that he was prepared, and had settled his own fears before entering the birthing room.
It massively changed our relationship in the birth room, and gave my love a huge amount of self-assurance and wisdom, tools and knowledge about what I most needed – and what our baby most needed.
He knew without doubt that his job- was for him to give us a safe, loving, grounded, held space to birth within. And that’s what he did.
I’m so incredibly grateful and blessed.
How Calm Birth Still Helps My Parenting
CalmBirth taught me how to use meditation & breath to manage extreme amounts of pain.
To this day, I still use CalmBirth.
I go to sleep quicker using Hypnobirthing breath.
When Ostara was a newborn and I was having middle of the night freak outs, I would do the same relaxing breath work – I figured if it could help me get through birth, it could help me get through anything.
Whenever I’ve been in pain or anxiety or about to lose my shit -
back to the breath.
Using concerted, scheduled, conscious breathing can lessen pain, re-circuit brain freak outs, balance wacky hormones.
Breathing might sound simple…
but when it makes the difference between an unbearable and a bearable one?
And let any labouring woman tell you: that’s a whole world of difference right there.
It’s definitely powerful – and it’s incredibly helpful to know.
I can absolooodely, unequivocally recommend for any pregnacious mamas & couples to do a CalmBirth, Hypnobirth or Hypnobabies course wherever and whenever you can. The workshops are the best way of doing it, but if you can’t do that, than a homestudy course of any of them would be really, really helpful.
You might also like to:
- Read Ostara’s birth story
- Check out my pregnant goddess videos & posts
- See the rest of my articles on being a Mama Goddess.
to all of us & our amazing mama strength,
|
Join 15 000 other readers + grab my FREE Goddess in 10 Minutes kit. You'll get:
 Instant Uplift! meditationInstant Calm video workshopFree weekly life + biz tips |
|
September 11th, 2011 at 10:07 pm
I have had three births to my babies and three miscarriages. During my second miscarriage it happened when one of my dearest friends was with me and was a very short labor, about 2 hours. I learned so much during that process, of how we could be supported, of how we could use breath, of how other women can share our emotional world, hold space for us.
During my labors my husband was truly amazing. The second babe was born in the car, my husband was driving and he found a way to drive and support my labor at the same time.
My third baby Lucas was born at home, in our bed after laboring in a water tub. It was bliss once he arrived, pure bliss, lasagna eating, champagne drinking, soft baby skin on skin love.
Thank you for sharing this Goddess Leonie. So much love to you.
September 14th, 2011 at 4:44 am
Woohoo!! SO excited you’re doing comments now!! i ALWAYS want to comment with how connected I am to your posts…so I’m REALLY excited…hehe!
This is what stood out to me the most in your post: “Chris was definitely that gentle river stone for me during birth. He gave away his own emotions for the time I was in labour so he could be where I needed him to be. He listened in to me {even when I didn’t speak}. I didn’t feel he left the room – even though he did take breaks. He was present, grounded, and there. He turned up with all of himself.”
I felt the same EXACT way with my husband. I didn’t do any calm birth, bradley, hypno birthing classes b/c they’re weren’t any in the area – but i was lucky to go to a childbirth class that was taught by a doula. i did have a doula in a conventional hospital. i wanted a water birth – BUT, once in labor i didn’t want anything to do with water – which is quite amazing b/c i’ve taken hot baths every night since i was a little girl…but that time during labor – i did it all natural – and i spent the entire time dancing with my husband. he took breaks, but like you said, i never felt him leave the room. he was my rock that day – i thought we only danced a short time – come to find out he was UH, NO! we danced for hours. lol…he said his legs were hurting him after – i had no idea. but i felt the same connection with him as you did with your husband. and after, an even more magical connection when he whispered in my ear (seconds after my daughter was born) you’re my hero. *happy tears*
and, i have to say, i owe it all to yoga, affirmations and keeping a positive mindset that helped me get through it all. i always said our experience will go the way it should and no two experiences are the exact same. i didn’t read many birth experiences beforehand, either. yoga breathing helped me SO much and it truly showed during this time…but, i also kept an open mind and knew that it would go any which way – and if it went another way that i didn’t truly want – then that was the plan for me.
thanks for writing this!! SO needed and SO helpful to us all.
:)
(((hugs)))
September 14th, 2011 at 5:32 am
Hello!
I do a variety of different forms of energy work. You can check out my website to learn more (tarologist.com)
I wanted you to know about the spiritual energy stages a soul/fetus goes through so you can support it.
During the first through third months, there is no soul.
4th Month – Crown Chakra develops where we are connected to the source. Meditating during this time is very helpful. Any fear, resentment or negative feelings will impact the fetuses spiritual connection.
5th Month – 3rd Eye (6th Chakra) development. Any creative visualization done at this time is helpful. Even reading books (where you are visualizing the story line) is helpful. Negative emotions during this time impact the fetus’ ability to create positive outlooks/realities.
6th Month – Throat/5th Chakra – Speak your truth during this time …DO NOT HOLD BACK. This helps to ensure she/he is comfortable expressing her/his voice in this life.
7th Month- Heart/4th Chakra – Be expressive of your personal feelings toward others – ESPECIALLY the loving feelings expressed toward loved ones.
8th Month- Solar Plexus Chakra – This is the “mental/analytical” chakra – also a the place where judgments are born. During this time what your judgments about yourself and others, while reading up on any self help stuff or anything you can learn.
9th Month – Sacral Chakra – The place where creativity is born! Do something creative during this time…like creating the baby’s sacred space (their room).
10th Month – First Chakra – This is the chakra of survival. Be sure you are particularly grounded and feeling safe at this time – as this will be helpful for feelings of security in this world for your baby.
I hope this helps!
Love & Light!
Gina The Tarologist
September 18th, 2011 at 9:11 am
Wow– I’ve never given birth and after hearing all the scary talk about childbirth that whirls around popular depictions of it, I find it so healing to hear first-hand stories of birthing as an uplifting, connecting, spiritual experience– and it’s also grand to be guided to specific resources for realizing that possibility. Thank you, Leonie.